We treat to understand to the other when in reality we do not understand us neither to us same. The first step to comprise to the other is to take autoconscience and personal autoawaraness. These are the basic pillars of the development of the emotional intelligence: know our own personality, our emotions and how present them in front of the other. Only like this we will be able to improve our emotional intelligence taking advantage of the resources and opportunities because we will be conscious of them, because we will be able to comprise our own reality.
We take us out piles of selfies with our mobiles but, really know who is behind this selfie?
Taking about autoconscience.
The autoconciencia is the capacity to recognise our own emotions and as they affect to our state of spirit and therefore to as we comport us because of them. It treats to take perspective on our own acts and thoughts of conscious way, is the first step to be able to change or regulate our behaviour and improve, regulate or change unsuitable behaviours or the expression of the emotions.
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How I know me to my same?
Achieve a deep knowledge of one same is not simple, but neither impossible. They need some capacity of self-criticism that can base in the achievement of these aims:
- Know which type of emotions are feeling and why are feeling them.
Recognise basic emotions is used to to be quite simple, all know when we are sad, cheerful or surprised, unless have alexitimia. However with this is not sufficient, have to encourage us in knowing the nuances of the emotions since of the basic emotions derive big quantity of secondary emotions each one with his respective nuances. What better know our more evolved emotions better will know the causes of his origin. If you want to know how they develop the emotions ones of others recommend you visit this article: The wheel of the emotions, of Robert Plutchik.
- Relate the emotion with the behaviour and the thought.
If we are not able to relate what are feeling with what are doing will go in in a loop of mental and emotional confusion that can affect us so much psíquicamente as physically. The emotions are directly related with the nervous system, endocrine, muscular and of course with our facial expression, corporal movements or our tone of voice.
If we are able to analyse what sucede in our organism when we see us influenciados by a determinate better emotion will know to control it. For example, when we feel ire accelerates our heart rate with his repercussion in the most impulsive instincts.
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- Perceive the way in that your feelings affect to your personal and labour life.
Another of the aims of the autoconsciousness is to perceive how are affecting to our personal performance our thoughts and emotions. For example, darse that when we are angered drop our labour performance or be conscious that our states of ire affect to our interpersonal relations.
- Be conscious of your values and aims.
We call values to the way to think and act that has each directly related person with the personality. The values build along the life and can varied in function of determine variables like the age, the social status or the economic level. Recognise the values with which govern us in our life is part of the process of taking of autoconciencia.
Likewise, in relation to the scale of values establish a series of personal aims. These put do reference to the attainments that want to alcanzasr in the different contexts of our life. It is important, therefore, recognise which are these aims to be able to do them reality, for this is necessary that have some requirements: be specific, be clear and intelligible, be realistic, be measurable and have to be established in a temporary period determined.
Scale of the Emotional Consciousness
The process by which understand the emotions and learn to manage them was defined by Claude Steiner (2011) by means of the scale of the emotional consciousness that summary in 7 stages:
- Embotamiento Emotional: in this first stage the person does not seem to feel at all, although it can that the other can perceive something by the physiological reactions that begin to manifest in the person. For example, if somebody experiences a state of anxiety will begin to sweat or will be pale, although it still do not know what is happening him.
- Physical feelings: the person begins to notice his corporal reactions, but still does not associate them with a concrete emotion. This stage and the previous can give place to situations of embarrassment since, to the not perceiving the own emotion, the reaction can not being consistent.
- Emotional chaos: the person perceives the emotion of conscious form, but perceives it only like a high level of energy that does not comprise neither can express with words.
- Differentiation: the person already is conscious of the basic emotions and of his intensity.
- Causality: the person comprises the cause of his emotions and the events that unchain them.
- Empathy: once surpassed the previous phases, the person is able to open to the other and comprise them.
- Interactiveness: in the last level is able of intuir how interactúan the emotions in his relation with the other and achieve same.
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The process of recognition of the emotions, demands to make a level of self-criticism very high that in a lot of occasions needs of an external support of a professional that know to guide you in the research of your own emotions.
References: Steiner, C. (2011). Educación Emocional. Sevilla: Jeder Libros.