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How to flirt by whatsapp by psychology

ligar por whatsapp

The form to communicate  has changed in the last years thanks to the new technologies that have modified substantially the interpersonal relations, at least in his way to initiate them. The use of applications of communication and social networks is so extensive that his use to tie is even more common that do it of the most traditional way.

How tie by internet?

They exist crowd of options, from social networks more usual like Whatsapp, Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok, Twitter or Telegram until the most specialised applications in tying like Tinder or Meetic where facilitate the contact between people generally unknown.

Once decided why half go to initiate the contact with this person of our interest begins the process of communication that usually in a principle will be practically only by chat. How have a good communication by chat? The most widespread application is the Whatsapp so we will centre us in this although the behaviour will be similar in all.

10 councils to tie by Whatsapp

It imagines that you already have the telephone of this person to be able to communicate you by Whastapp or another half like a social network and go to begin to speak him. This first conversation that so much costs us initiate or so much fear to the rejection produces us has to have some important previous considerations. Do you this question before beginning: you would say the same to the face that by internet?

It is a person known or unknown?

It is important firstly know if this person is somebody that already knew in person previously or if you did not know it. This is important because the rule number one of this type of communication is to try show how would be in the real life.

If the person already had a previous image of your personality will have to take it into account for or know if the image is chord to your own reality or although you need to change this image that the another person has on you because you consider that it is erroneous and can play against that the relation go to more.

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Photo of profile: the importance of the personal image

Although it was too superficial, the same sucede in the real life, your photo of profile is your image of presentation. The same that you fix you to go out at night of party have to have some care with that your photo was the suitable but at the same time natural and chord to your own form to be. You do not invent.

It procures that in your photo of profile see  your face, show you sonriente and natural. At the end your expensive is what the another person more will have present and is with what want that it remain . It will like him more or less, but it is your face. It does not happen at all for showing  such as it is , on the contrary.

It can be of special interest and attraction that in the photo go out making some activity that like you make or in which you stand out or have big interest, show your hobbies is a form to approach  or wake up interest. This can facilitate the start of a conversation: “Ah! It likes you walk in bike?”: “To me also it likes me the hiking!”.

Eye, avoids the photos of postureo extreme. Never you put the photo to remain well and afterwards do not have neither idea of this activity or of what are doing.

Sentence of state: it explains something on you

The profiles are used to to have also a section to define you. A small biography that identify you. It can be a piece of a song, a funny or inspiring sentence. Perhaps the amused was the most striking.

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Histories: sample that are an active person

Practically all the applications allow to give to know our activity through histories or photos to share with our contacts. Keep a true attractive activity goes to call the attention and give foot to that they speak you consulting or asking after that that are making. In reality  it works like the same life. If you do things more things will have of which can speak.

Attract the attention: awake the interest

As in any type of ligoteo or flirt is important that the another person loan attention. You are your own product and have to sell you, the laws of the márketing speak of diverse strategies of social influence that help to attract this interest on the product, on you. It tries to know the interests that shares with the another person to board a conversation that give place to questions and reciprocal interactions. It is important to generate some expectation on what will be or will not be so that this uncertainty finish sticking and interesting more and more.

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It applies the principle of shortage

Attract the attention does not involve to be slope all day that they loan it to you. Have patience and do not sell you to any price. Show you valuable or valuable with your time and take advantage of it in doing activities of which can speak afterwards with the another person. It uses this timeframe to attract his attention and speak especially this that has lost  while you were not speaking.

Your time is gold. This can not  confuse with the fact to neglect to another person, does not treat  of this. But to give quality to the time. The quality has more value that the quantity if it administers  of correct form.

The efficient communication by internet

As we said the communication by means of the social networks has to be the most alike possible to which would use in the real life. Of what would serve to not to do it like this? If your aim is to know for real to this person have to show your real personality and the effective communication will be the first step. For this take into account these variables:

  • Asertividad: You have to be an able person to express what want to and say it of sincere way so that the another person there is not bad interpretations on your intentions. You do not disperse you in conversations that know that they are not arriving to the place that you really want to. Take into account your rights asertivos basic.
  • Question. The best way to know to another person, especially if it is something shy or costs him advance, is to ask directly on different subjects. Have interest in the another person, on his interests, tastes, is the best way to know what hides  behind the screen of the mobile telephone and of his photos of Instagram. It is important to do discreet questions and without invading the personal space. The person will go taking confidence to explain until where want to explain what want to explain and do not have to presionarla in knowing things, already will know them.
  • Patience. Related with the previous. The patience and the time devoted to another person, time of value, will see  recompensado if you do not have haste for having these conversations.
  • Agree you of the another person. Write him when you have listened a song that know that it can like him or command him a photo of something that like him. Agree of the others people is something that attracts and help to create this bond of necessary confidence.
  • It uses his name. Has a name of battery or a nickname. It quotes his name as if it was in the real life or uses from time to time some personal nickname that arrive  form between both to increase the emotional bond between the parts.
  • It writes well. It uses well the words that write to grammatical and orthographical level. It thinks that this goes to asemejar the maximum possible the reality of a conversation in personnel to the chat of Whatsapp. The points, the commas, the good letter goes to achieve on the one hand that it read  much better what want to say and understand  and by another that value  that the time in writing and that devote him to the another is important. It writes complete sentences and do not use only monosyllabic to answer, fills up the information, as if you were in a café taking something.
  • Emoticones. To compensate the fault of expressiveness of the social network tries to turn it into more natural with the use of emoticones that represent better your emotional state or explain the sentences that are using, so that the irony understand  when it is irony and when no, for example.

| Article related: 10 councils to improve the communication

It shares: the life is together moments

Through the social networks and the technology can share big quantity of moments in shape of photos, audios, songs, videos, gifs funny, emoticones, drawings, etc. Even can  share moments in direct while it is seeing  a film each one in his house or a series of television. Share this information goes to generate conversation and laughs. It shares situations and vivencias cheerful that believe conjoint emotions.

Propose activities to do

A thing that it is necessary to have clear is that the aim, understand, is not to remain only in a conversation of chat, but to try share together moments in the real life. Once that it has created  some connection do not have fear in proposing remain to make some type of activity. Already you know some of his personal tastes so you already can propose see in person to do it. In case of not knowing what say him, simply propose a walk or a coffee to give the jump to the real life.

We do not go to put literal examples of how do this proposal by Whatsapp or similar because the only that you have to do is to be natural and soltarlo. The only that you have to do is to not to do it constantly neither overwhelm with the propositions every day. It leaves to happen some time to go back to propose or leaves that it speak you to you to follow interactuando.

Prepare you for the defeat, that no the failure

A defeat does not want to say that you have fracasado. But yes you have to be conscious that the same you have idealised to the another person or the expectations that had on a possible relation were a so much moved away of the reality. It does not happen at all, the relations already are in internet as in the real life no always achieve to be bidirectional. The important is that you have not remained you with win them to try board this conversation with this person that woke up your interest.


The summary of all this is that the social networks have to be used of the most similar form possible to the behaviour that would have in the real life. The not having to the another person in front ours can on the one hand facilitate the soltarnos to speak with her and hide the fears to interact, but also can be a weapon of double edge if they do not use  of responsible way. Keep the norms of net-etiquete in internet so that the use of the social networks serve for what were created initially: establish healthy connections.


Iván Pico

Director y creador de Psicólogo Colegiado G-5480 entre otras cosas. Diplomado en Ciencias Empresariales y Máster en Orientación Profesional. Máster en Psicología del Trabajo y Organizaciones. Posgrado en Psicología del Deporte entre otras cosas. Visita la sección "Sobre mí" para saber más. ¿Quieres una consulta personalizada? ¡Escríbeme!

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