Sexual Desire, sex or love?

sexualidad deseo

The motivation for the sex is one of the primary adaptative behaviours that more move us to all, that more interest us. The big pleasure that arouses in us is the attendant to motivate us for his practice, in all his forms and conditions.

The sex is a necessary tool for the survival of the species and in the humans have the privilege that the nature has offered us the opportunity to enjoy it to the maximum; by what independently of the sexual orientation that have ; with the one who practise  or make  in solitary can be grateful that thanks to the he have a very healthy way to obtain pleasure of natural form, with all his profits.

Enjoy freely of our sexuality is of the best experiences for any person. Nowadays we have crowd of formulas to improve our sexual satisfaction, with specialists in this, as it is the case of Vivesex, that will provide us all the necessary elements for his practice and enjoy, already was by means of methods more traditional or the most sophisticated toys and stimulating sexual.

Have win of sex or I am in Love?

Our own nature promotes us to this relation and to establish bonds with the people to satisfy this biological need, that in occasions compensates  by means of the masturbation in solitary. In the interpersonal relations exist a lot of conditionings so that they are satisfactory, mediated all they by our emotions and thoughts on the situation, the context and the own biological needs.

It is here where is born the main difference when we try to differentiate between sexual wish, win to have sex and practise sex with love.

Differences go in win of sex, sexual wish and the love

Culturally it is quite established that make the love make  with a person to which wants  further of the sexual bond properly said; awake another type of emotions in us same, exists a complicity and an external relation to the sex, as if of a friendship treated . In this sense, could say that when we practise the masturbation would be self-esteem, what better that want to to one same!

However, it exists one differentiates substance between the sexual wish and win them to practise sex without more. Any of them is better that the previous, neither better that make love, but has different emotional nuances. So much wish like having win are related with making love. It is evident that the love can not  do without sexual wish or win to do it, but no longer would be to make love but a mere formality of the couple that can bring in the long run some sexual problems derived.

A common aim: the sexual gratification

The three forms to see the sexual attraction has a common aim: the gratification and the pleasure. All they free testosterone and oestrogens to increase the libido of the people in search of this aim.

The planning of this aim, the  time that devote him to achieve it and the emotions that awake is what differentiates the sexual wish to a person and win them or attraction without more to her. The wish  mature in the time. It produces  when it likes us a person and begin to think in her; to make behaviours to try contact with these people; see it more; we change our habits (buy us a new perfume, new clothes, etc.); have details with this person or try it seduce somehow so that it loan us greater attention and wake up in her also this same sexual attraction.

The sexual wish involves a temporary planning of time and aims. However, you win them or the sexual attraction by somebody is more resembled a much more momentary impulse in the time. It is this chocolatina that see in the supermarket and that wakes up us an immediate need to consume it, sometimes even losing the control. You win them sexual is the sporadic sex with a person that only awake a primary basic motivation to obtain an immediate satisfaction. That that tie of a night. The sexual wish by the contrary is the tie more premeditado. Finally, the love attains  by the cumulus of all they more the rest of interpersonal relation of confidence and privacy.

You win, wish and love can go joined or separate

All awake personal relation some determinate feelings, complicities and privacies in function of the emotional degree that involve us, to the equal that exist different types of love exist also different types of sexual attractions. It is not that one was better that another, as long as they have  clear his different commitments and can go boards or separate, such that:

  1. A wish can begin by ones win and turn into the most corresponded love.
  2. You win them to his time can remain only in win satisfied (or no), turn into encaprichamiento and sexual wish and not arriving to love.
  3. The sexual wish can produce with the step of the time, when previously there were not those win sexual. For example, east is the case of friendships or people that know and finally finish having also relations.

The wish also is related with the loss

Another of the keys to differentiate between wish, simple win or love is the need that awake or the possibility of loss that generates. The wish also generates the possibility of loss and what more want to a person, more wish have to be with her because the feeling of sadness and the anxiety that generates his loss would be greater. Without falling in the emotional dependency, this true fear is what at the end many times blocks us to have some interpersonal relations stronger; for avoiding this possible pain that many times is irrational, and that keeps to the people in relations more than the type of sporadic sexual interest, of win, without emotional complications.

All the options are valid as long as no repercutan in the personal life, of couple, generate feelings found, emotional unrest or other sexual disorders derived as it could be the sexual wish inhibited. These problems would have to be consulted with a psychologist specialist, a sexólogo. It enjoys of the sex, of your relations. It enjoys of you.


Iván Pico

Director y creador de Psicólogo Colegiado G-5480 entre otras cosas. Diplomado en Ciencias Empresariales y Máster en Orientación Profesional. Máster en Psicología del Trabajo y Organizaciones. Posgrado en Psicología del Deporte entre otras cosas. Visita la sección "Sobre mí" para saber más. ¿Quieres una consulta personalizada? ¡Escríbeme!

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