When a person is jealous moderately it indicates that it is showing interest in your partner, as long as this is not a matter of personal distress, are reasonable jealousy. However, jealousy can become pathological if they become obsessive thoughts that keep trusting the couple naturally and that will lead to many relationship problems, where trust is the cornerstone of the relationship. When these invasive thoughts become extreme jealousy can affect the health of the person and, unfortunately, even trigger misbehavior, such as the exhaustive control of the couple and at worst encourage violent behavior.
From psychology, jealousy and emotion can be analyzed under the cognitive theory of Scheme A-B-C. proposed by Albert Ellis. A trigger event (A) triggers a series of distorted thinking (B, beliefs in English), which generate a series consequences (C). The example in the case of the celopatía could be something like this:
- Events (A): A girlfriend writes your friend a message to the mobile.
- Distorted thoughts (B): To think that is linking with another, or is unfaithful and end up leaving the relationship and you’ll be alone.
- Consequences (C): Feelings of sadness, inferiority, frustration and consequently celotípicos discussions or extreme behaviors.
Obviously, this scheme is not healthy and the person is developing thoughts beyond what it really is and creating unnecessary worry that eventually trigger conflicts. eye! do not let the temptation to defend a controlling and intrusive relationship. Freedom and trust is fundamental and if your partner does not comply blame why not have it.
Techniques for controlling jealousy.
These thoughts generate a deep emotional distress, such as the case of people who think that generate obsessive thoughts about his fitness for the fact that your guy / girl has looked at another / or down the street, for example. To try to prevent negative thoughts occur celotípicos and its aftermath are various techniques.
>> Related article: Obsessive thoughts and the phenomenon of the polar bear.
First, remember that if you feel psychological discomfort either by jealousy or other not hesitate to contact a professional to explain your case and determine the appropriate program psychologist, because each person is different and you have to know in depth the causes that generate discomfort, as well as the environment and other influential variables.
Some of the techniques used to control jealousy:
1. Changing behaviors.
This is achieved celopático modify a behavior aimed at checking the jealous thought, for example, that you are cheating. To do so can be used on the one hand a strategy of imaginative exhibition (remember the thought provoking jealousy). Then perform a task prevention response, ie prevent the person check if your thought is true or not. The jealous person has to write down what kinds of thoughts provoke jealousy (for example, a text message) and recognize what he would do to check their veracity (spy on mobile). Once this is done, the cases imaginatively but without performing test behavior practiced.
2. Changing thoughts.
It is in psicoeducar the subject and explain that jealousy occur due to irrational ideas. What you try to do to control this are autoregistros when such thoughts occur, under what conditions and what emotion the person felt. From there with the help of the therapist is debate about these irrational ideas and their consequences for the jealous person to see graphically that does not actually what you think.
>> Related article: The 17 most common cognitive distortions
3. Increased self-esteem.
More often jealousy occur in a person with low self esteem, low self concept, insecure and feelings of inferiority. They must work self-esteem and personal security (easy to say, hard to do). Treat yourself well, love yourself a little more and so will reinforce your emotional defenses. You can read any of the articles on emotional intelligence of the web that maybe you can guide, but as I always say do not hesitate to rely on a professional psychologist to help you change those irrational ideas about yourself. As you go to a gym to improve your fitness, it’s okay to go to a psychologist to improve your emotional state.
4. Externalize and have a full life.
Often jealous people are focused on exclusively on their partners and ignore your friends, hobbies, family or household or work tasks. Also, if you feel bad about any such situation trust a friend or family member who knows the situation surely be more objective than you and help you out of the loop in which’re stuck. That conversation will help not only that, but to complete your life sipping a beer and chatting about other things without focusing on your partner, you will see that when you get home, nothing has changed for the worse. Remember, freedom and confidence. Your partner is you have the freedom to decide for herself, I feel lucky for that.
5. Control or cessation of drugs and alcohol.
If your case is extreme and combine it with substance aggravate the situation in all aspects. The consumer of alcohol or drugs tend to be more irritable and difficult rational thoughts on the subject.
6. Have fun and relax.
In accordance with paragraph 4, conducting recreational activities or exercise will allow you to disconnect from the jealous thoughts and achieve greater personal satisfaction. You can combine this with relaxation techniques that allow you to have moments of relaxation to better know yourself and take to sort these intrusive thoughts.