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Feeling guilty is not the solution

Guilt is a useless emotion, and as they all have their role. Paralyzed by something you need to learn to cope with a situation that has overcome you and which you feel responsible. But it is not useful if it does not work as a turning point towards personal improvement. If you fall forever paralyzed by guilt he begins to not be useless. It sounds easy to say but obviously it is difficult to apply it. While you feel guilty you’re wasting this time past behavior as if that were to solve the. It’s the same thing about the concerns, but in recent time you lose worrying about the future. Psychology explains.

We will not get to define the general term of emotion, for it with a simple search on Google will have thousands of definitions but it is important to stress first to say that there are two types of emotions.

♦ Basic or primary emotions that come standard innately and help the survival of the species: as anger, sadness, disgust, surprise or fear).

♦ Learned or secondary emotions are those which arise from social learning, reasoning, language and communication. This block is where the blame lies, but also the satisfaction, boredom, complacency or jealousy. Rounding out the top but its role is much more social.

We must differentiate between guilt and learn from the lessons of the past. We talk about a useless emotion when the guilt immobilizes you and those regrets not let you lead a normal life, either for being upset or uncomfortable or reach levels greater and more serious depression. Learn from the mistakes itself is healthy, of course. If what you do is promise not to perform an act, that’s not guilt. Guilt is unhealthy when you spend energy you could be investing in improving things. However, society tends to make us think that it is not wrong to feel that preoccupation with the past: Taking Care of this!

Freud talked about something like that guilt was an unconscious part and hence the “need for punishment” of self-punishment. But these are words for other post.

Types of guilt and examples

  • Residual guilt is that we maintain our childhood. When sometimes we did feel ashamed with phrases menacing style like “you should I feel ashamed for having suspended” (somo if that would improve the grade …), or when a coach removed you from the field for having missed a very clear chance of scoring, obviously not do that goal will re-enter. Or the typical that is heard a few parents: “If you do not eat the soup, and Dad will not want more” All these reactions are accumulated in that child will be adult and eventually learn to feel ashamed and guilty is “normal”.
  • Self-imposed guilt is much more annoying than the first and refers to feel immobilized by recent actions that have nothing to do with childhood. Is when a standard or code infrige. The pain you feel is not going to change things. If one day you forget to pay in a bar drinking and you’re upset about it … what serves you feel that way? What you have done you are wrong and you have two options: go to pay the bill to bar apologizing or if you have no choice because you’ve left the city, noted on the things that will never again do and learn from it.

It is clear that the discomfort generated by guilt may be smaller or greater importance. Not the same feeling guilty for not having congratulated the birthday someone to feel guilty for having taken the car drunk. In both cases the shelter of a feeling of insane pain that immobilizes you is not the solution to problems. In fact, if you do not put an end to this, blame itself serve as a booster to return to repeat the same behavior under the protection and compensation of guilt and “self-punishment”, as Freud said.

Salt and learns the error loop to improve the present to the future.

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Bibliographic references:

Dyer, Wayne W. (1976). Your erroneuous zones. Fuck & Wagnalis, New York.

Sobre el autor

Iván Pico

Graduado en Psicología (UNED). Nº Colegiado G-5480. Diplomado en Ciencias Empresariales (USC). Máster en Psicología del Trabajo y las Organizaciones. (INESEM). Máster Universitario Oficial en Orientación Profesional (UNED). Posgrado en Neuromarketing (Universidad Camilo José Cela). Técnico Deportivo Nivel II, fútbol sala (RFEF). Especialista en Psicología Aplicada al Deporte. Etc, etc...
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