Emotional Intelligence

Assertive communication, source of emotional liberation

comunicación asertiva

One of the big skills that have done that the human beings have evolved so much along the years is his big capacity of communication in all and each one of his forms. When it produces  a good communication creates  a flow of information between emisor and receptor that benefits to both parts. This mutual profit increases  exponencialmente when what transmit does  of efficient way, intelligible and with a good assertiveness communication.

The strategies, technical and formulas for the improvement of the communication, like part of the human behaviour that it is, can be studied and put in practice with the help of professionals of the area of the communication, as it is the case of the experts of Sferamind, a place where can find the necessary resources to improve our personal performance.

What is the assertiveness communication?

The asertividad is a quality of the emotional intelligence thanks to which a person is able to affirm or deny a positioning, idea, right or belief of firm way, simple and coherent respecting the ideas and rights of the other without offending them.

The people that dominate the communication asertiva are able to respect  like this same and to the other expressing his own ideas of sincere way, in the suitable moment and without need to transgress the beliefs of the other by what go to achieve his aims of way more direct. This type of behaviour benefits so much to the emisor as to the receptor since the person asertiva will not allow that they manipulate it to his antojo and at the same time the another person will listen and will have the opportunity to understand these thoughts that the person asertiva wants to transmit him. It is therefore a process comunicacional with a high load of empathy.

The assertiveness creates people freer

The asertividad allows to defend of the criticisms or of excessive requests that the other do on him demanding a commitment of respect by his decisions, is therefore a right. A lot of people has problems of asertividad by the fear that can involve express some beliefs or needs in front of determinate people, in front of the fear of rejection or the incomprensión that can produce if the another person does not understand what wants to express .

The communication asertiva is not therefore aggressive but neither submissive or passive, is a way to say what really wants  in each moment. Achieve this frees to the person that receives the message of a responsibility that does not belong him.

For example, if a person does not want to go to the cinema, but finally yields in front of the “pressure” and goes without wanting to it really, is moving him to the another person a responsibility on his own welfare that could not having in the case to clear him of way asertiva that really does not wish to attend to the cinema.

The people with asertividad high feel  freer achieve same showing such as they are, because first they respect his own interests and do not expose  to the interests of third.

Characteristics and examples of assertiveness communication

The asertividad centres  in three big general characteristics:

  • Autoafirmation: Defence of the own rights, realisation of requests and expression of personal opinions. For example: “I think that the government is acting very creating this new law”; “I Prefer to go to the beach that to the swimming pool”. “I need some holidays”.
  • Expression in positive: make praises and samples of affection and like, as well as also receive them. For example: “What well seats you this dress!”; “Thank you For expecting me, did not have to arrive late to the appointment”; “Thank you by the gift!”. Say “want You” or “miss You”.
  • Expression in negative: manifest the dislike or disagreement by something. It is the capacity to say no. For example: “I do not want to go out with you”; “you have not carried you well”.
  • Make requests: be able to make applications without fear to the rejection, culpability, or knowing that it will not happen at all if the answer is negative. For example: “You apetece that we go today to the cinema?”; “Please, can indicate me where is the street that look for?”.


Behaviour assertiveness

The assertiveness communication produces , in addition to by means of the verbal behaviour expressing the opinion by means of the correct language, but also thanks to a correct behaviour in the place and suitable moment. The asertividad is very related with the empathy by what these people are able to make one listens active of the another. This process bases  in:

  • Speak of natural and spontaneous form.
  • Loan attention to the conversation: listen instead of alone oir.
  • Keep a tone of firm voice, relaxed and very modulated.
  • Look of frank way, with expressiveness and keeping the visual contact.
  • Movements and relaxed and calm posture, keeping a correct distance between the emisor and the receptor of the messages in function of the moment and the place. Not to show challenging neither aggressive.


The drop assertiveness is a problem of emotional type that affects to a big quantity of population that discover that working in them same, in his self-esteem and autoconfianza with the help of professionals improve his quality of life and his relations sustantivamente.

The people little asertivas feel  in a species of “communicative prison” that does not allow them express properly by what accumulate frustrations and fears that can unchain in anxiety and depression by this fault of communicative skill. You do not leave that the fault of assertiveness decide by you.






Iván Pico

Director y creador de Psicopico.com. Psicólogo Colegiado G-5480 entre otras cosas. Diplomado en Ciencias Empresariales y Máster en Orientación Profesional. Máster en Psicología del Trabajo y Organizaciones. Posgrado en Psicología del Deporte entre otras cosas. Visita la sección "Sobre mí" para saber más. ¿Quieres una consulta personalizada? ¡Escríbeme!

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