I remember an anecdote from my childhood that perfectly illustrates the importance of vulnerability . When I was about 6 years old, I ran across a street to go to my father who was on the other side. I did it along the straightest line that I saw was viable, without looking for other types of dangers, without looking to see if cars were coming. They ran over me. My father ran out to pick me up and the driver got out of the car to help me. It was a pedestrian crossing, but I crossed without feeling any type of vulnerability, without feeling risk, hastily.
That experience taught me an invaluable lesson: vulnerability is not synonymous with weakness . On the contrary, it is a strength that allows us to recognize our limitations, ask for help, observe, reflect and learn from our mistakes. However, in today’s society, vulnerability is often misunderstood and seen as a sign of fragility. Contrary to what it may seem, from my point of view, injecting our young people with this feeling that they can do anything and that nothing is going to happen to them is a strategy of media manipulation that is constantly established through messages on social networks that block critical thinking and reflection on what surrounds us.
| Related article: The illusion of invulnerability: why do we believe we are immune to everything?
For this reason, young people are more susceptible to falling into this type of problems of social pressure and influence: because they come standard with a principle of invulnerability that they manage over the years with their maturity. And yet, adults also have a hard time understanding this correctly. One of the immediate effects of thinking that being vulnerable makes us weak, instead of strong, is that expectations are created above reality, which generates low tolerance for frustration , low self-esteem and other types of emotional mismanagement problems. not seeing ourselves capable of achieving what we are supposed to be told we are capable of doing. Rebound effect.
The media sometimes present a distorted image of reality, where invulnerability becomes an unattainable ideal. Invincible heroes, famous people without flaws, perfect lives, millionaire people without effort, or the pressure to be the most handsome, the one with the most money or the best in every way, are recurring examples. Surely you have seen on a social network such as Tik Tok or Instagram some videos of people exposing these types of ideals in their lives. This idealization of invulnerability has an impact on society, especially on youth, who can be affected in the following ways:
This feeling of being invulnerable generates in people the false need to pay attention to someone who immediately indicates a solution to their problems. That is, they have created a problem that generally does not exist, so that from there a savior (person or thing) emerges to alleviate that need to be the best; and this is one of the basic principles of media manipulation . On top of all this, promising instant reinforcement, practically without effort involved, which is why we now talk about a society of immediacy. We no longer know how to postpone success or base it on our own work and effort, thus strengthening our own internal motivation, and not basing it on an external motivation or promise; but this would be thematic source for another article on human motivation (the real one).
Vulnerability is a natural emotional state that allows us to connect with our deepest emotions and needs. It is the ability to open ourselves to others without fear of being judged or rejected. On the other hand, invulnerability is a misperception that we often find in youth. Children and adolescents, in their eagerness to explore the world, feel invincible. They ignore the risks and believe that nothing bad can happen to them. This false sense of security can lead them to make serious mistakes, to be more influenced and manipulated by others.
Another example that I usually give in my classes is that if we did not feel vulnerability we could play on the edge of a 100 meter high cliff, without fear of falling, without reviewing the safety measures or without asking about possible risks. And we already know what can happen if we are not able to feel vulnerable to falling: that we fall. To know that children feel more invulnerable regarding this example, you only need to imagine a child on a sidewalk walking with his family. It is quite likely that the child, by his very nature, is playing on the curb of the sidewalk. Because children play and have to continue playing, but they must also be guided to learn before being run over.
It is not that it is an extreme vulnerability, it must also be in the right measure, but if we do it correctly we will be able to contemplate the views that the cliff offers us in a safer way and that will also serve to modulate our management of the fear of coherent manner.
Far from being a weakness, vulnerability is a fundamental tool for personal growth. By accepting our own vulnerability, we can:
It is essential that children and adolescents learn to understand vulnerability from an emotional perspective so that this education creates people who improve their emotional self-management, self-motivation, and conflict resolution more efficiently:
One of the things I am most proud of is being able to give talks and workshops on these topics in schools and institutes. The other day I started counting how many I had and I have already exceeded 500 talks! And let them continue. It seems essential to me to be able to bring this knowledge to the youngest people so that they learn to think better, decide better and generate more emotional and communicative skills, which will undoubtedly be the best prevention of future problems; and once again thanks to feeling vulnerable correctly and actively.
If you want to learn more about critical thinking and applied emotional intelligence, from the point of view of psychology, do not hesitate to contact me, or any psychologist specialized in the subject.