Death is part of life. It hurts to think about it, but it is something that we have to face especially when it comes to the loss of a close loved one, such as a child, a mother or a father. In the case of the death of our parents (mother or father) a very large affective bond is broken when we part with our main protectors who have accompanied us throughout life. The death of a mother is one of the most painful and traumatic experiences of our lives, especially when there is a strong emotional bond for which we will have to overcome the grief and face the new situation.
Grief is an emotional state through which we have to learn to go through in a healthy way, whether it is due to the death of a mother or father, or any other type of loss during our lives, grief is something that sooner or later will be present in our lives. life, and something that is going to mark us in a certain way during the rest of it.
For this reason, overcoming the death of a mother or father is practically impossible, that wound will always remain, but we must learn to walk the path so that the scar does not disturb our lives. Sometimes, the scars serve to remind us how important that person was to us, because things hurt when they are important, and few things are more important than a mother.
For this reason, it is usual that despite the fact that a long time has passed since death, there are periods in which we need to express that pain, that absence, even with tears or sadness. Nothing happens. It is normal to feel sad, as long as it is in a controlled way to remember what was important.
This is perhaps the most important part of coping with the death of a family member: knowing that you can feel sad and that you have a right to be. Once this is known, the phases of mourning are usually represented in five differentiated ones, which we will briefly explain:
We cannot speak of a certain duration for each phase of mourning, it will depend on many factors: personality, cause of death (natural or accident), degree of assimilated guilt (if it was due to an accident in which you were driving, for example) , existing family context and support, degree of emotional bond or attachment (not everyone has the same affective relationship with their families). When the person cannot get out of this duel for a while and their life is paralyzed, the duel can be a problem that requires more professional support to prevent it from becoming too entrenched. In addition, each person can go through these phases more or less quickly or even skip some of them, but this does not make it a better or worse grieving process, simply adapted to each person and need.
The best help to overcome a mourning for the death of a mother, although it seems obvious, is simple emotional support with the close presence of the loved one. Let them know that you are there and that person can talk about how they feel about what happened as a way to channel everything, expressing their feelings and emotions. This requires a certain degree of patience on the part of the companion but it will be of great help to the process.
Another way to assimilate death is to face the situation naturalizing what happened and giving way to being able to share situations where that person we loved (and love) so much was present, such as being in the room where we sleep, smelling the clothes they were wearing, kissing a photography or simply talking with other people about anecdotes shared with that person who continues to be so important to our lives. They don’t leave if they stay in our memory.
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La pérdida de una madre es posiblemente uno de los procesos más traumáticos de la vida, este año falleció la mía y en estas fechas un sentimiento de tristeza, dolor, rabia y frustración te invade y que es difícil de sobrellevar